Magnet jokescông việc

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It will be a face off between two contestants. Each contestant have to tell a joke and make opponent laugh. Jokes could be cringe, weird , funny, dumb. So we need someone who can write jokes in english or hindi language.

...build 2 small magnetic levitating displays for me and optimize it for me so that it floats steadily. The displays should be 8-16 inches in size. It should have feet and vent holes so it does not over heat and power connectors for the base and wall of the us standard with 6-10 ft cable. it should be silent. I want it to hold 1 pound or over very steadily and it has to be relatively easy to set the magnet on the display to float compared to the Woodlev magnetic levitating display of which I have an amazon link below. https://www.amazon.com/Floating-Magnetic-Levitation-Decoration-Woodlev/dp/B076GG7QF8/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8 If you don't want to click my link, just look up "woodlev magnetic levitating display" and it's the first non-ad amazon link....

Looking for someone to illustrate elements for a boardgame. Specifically require doodles of little cheeky goats. Style: cartoon doodles These illustrations are to feature on game cards. Contestants should submit a minimum of three from the following list: (No AI generated illustrations please) 1) Little cheeky goat zapping another little go...generated illustrations please) 1) Little cheeky goat zapping another little goat with a freeze gun 2) Little cheeky goat flying with a jetpack 3) Little cheeky goat wearing night vision goggles 4) Little cheeky goat using a punch gun (gun with an extended mechanical arm with a boxing glove on the end) to punch another goat 5) Little cheeky goat flying through the air holding on to a huge magnet (magnet being pulled in the direction...

Affordable Travel Checklist Lead Magnet for People Looking for Affordable Travel - Target Audience: People looking for affordable travel - Lead Magnet Type: Checklist - Main Value Proposition: Affordable prices We are an affiliate marketing company specializing in affordable travel options. We are looking for a skilled freelancer to create a strong lead magnet in the form of a checklist to generate leads for our business. Target Audience: - Our target audience consists of people who are actively searching for affordable travel options. They are looking for ways to save money on flights, accommodation, and activities. Lead Magnet Type: - We prefer a checklist as the lead magnet. This will provide our audience with a practical tool they can use to plan ...

Hello, I'm looking for help creating a lead magnet in the form of a checklist. It is targeted towards a specific niche – business professionals. I have a specific topic and theme in mind, and am looking to hire a freelancer with experience in this area. The lead magnet will be a valuable tool for my targeted audience, so it's important to me that the project is completed with excellence. I'm excited to work with a freelancer to bring my idea to life, convert more leads, and grow my business.

...application will allow users to queue and download multiple videos simultaneously. Quality Options: Users can select the video quality they prefer when downloading. Download History: A history tab for users to manage and access their downloaded videos. 2.2 Torrent Downloading: Torrent Client: The application will integrate a robust torrent client to facilitate torrent file downloads. Magnet Links: Users can input magnet links or upload torrent files to initiate downloads. Pause/Resume Downloads: Users can pause and resume torrent downloads as needed. Download Management: An intuitive download manager to track and prioritize torrent downloads. 2.3 User-Friendly Interface: Sleek and Intuitive Design: An easy-to-navigate user interface with a clean design. Search Functional...

I am looking for someone to design and create a 3mf and STL files for a 3D printer egg carton for personal use. The egg carton should hold 12 ex-large eggs and should be based on holding eggs in a 4x3 pattern: A remix of this model is the preferred design, with hinges and magnet points: :4903311 The print design must fit on 3D printer bed size of 220mm*220mm. Attention to detail will be integral in the design of this egg carton, and any features that could be beneficial to its users should be taken into consideration.

Hello, I am looking for a professional freelancer to help me craft an incredible Barmitzvah speech for my sons event. I...entertain my family and friends. We are a fun/happy go lucky family so being a little silly/fun is fine. It should be 5-10 minutes in length and tailored towards my loved ones but focusing on my son and his individual personality. I plan to deliver the speech on the big day so I need someone to make sure it’s perfect and captivating. This job requires some expertise in crafting fun stories and jokes for the general audience. The speech should sound energetic and interesting so I am looking forward to hearing experienced proposals. I'm excited to find the best freelancer to help me create an amazing speech that my friends and family will enjoy....

I'm looking for an artist to make custom stickers and characters for a specific theme. The style should be cartoon-like in nature, and I need 3 stickers/characters. For example one of character is a father rabbit with custom tshirt which says "dad jokes ready" . The right freelancer for this project will have good drawing skills and a great eye for detail, as well as a familiarity with producing artwork in a cartoon format, but in more soft, a bit childish and fun style. If you have experience designing and creating cartoon graphics, please reach out. Let's work together to bring this project to life.

I am looking for an illustrator to create a “children’s” style book about funny incidents my mum’s partner has done. This book is aimed at adults but I want the illustrations to mimic the style of a children’s book. I have some specific incidents and jokes I would like to include in the illustrations and I am expecting 10-20 pages/illustrations in the book. The target audience is adult. If you are an experienced illustrator that can draw humorous and entertaining illustrations then I want to hear from you.

I'm looking for some jokes to add to my stand up comedy routine and would like some help! I am specifically looking for one-liners that are related to everyday life. I have a solid idea of what I'm looking for, so if you can provide a set of original and creative jokes, that would be greatly appreciated. I'm open to any type of jokes, but if you have experience with stand up comedy then that would be ideal. Please make sure the jokes are geared towards an adult audience. I appreciate your help in making my stand up routine even better!

I am looking for an experienced freelancer to help m...components to achieve the desired outcome. The pcb will need to be designed for 110v operation and have a 90vdc motor controller. The project should be completed within 6 weeks and with strict attention paid to detail. The pcb will be running an irrigation system. It will need to control 6 24vdc solenoid valves, a 90vdc motor (forward, reverse, and pwm signal), receive inputs from encoder, magnet readers and keypad. It will also need to run to an lcd display. I can handle the coding, I just need an electrical engineer that can spec the parts and design the pcb. Open to any design software.. I just need a completed design and spec sheet for the requirements. If you think you are up to the task, I look forward to hearing...

Project Title: Video through artificial intelligence (video with people speaking differently than in their original video, with their voice) - I want to create several hundred videos for my Facebook page (pamphlets and jokes), of maximum 3 minutes each, using artificial intelligence and special scripts for such things. - I am interested in some people in their public videos chosen by me / whom I want, to speak (in Romanian) in those videos differently than in those videos, using my texts, but the voice of those people, miming and moving their lips, the eyes, the face, as if the words in the content of my texts were actually speaking. - Who wants a long-term collaboration, who has great experience in such projects, and has the necessary scripts, to make me an offer in private for pa...

I am looking for a non veg anchor to create daily YouTube videos. The videos should be 5-10 minutes in duration and will consist of adult non veg jokes and stories. The preferred style of presentation should be humorous, with a focus on delivering adult content in a light-hearted manner. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Experience as a YouTube anchor or presenter - Comfortable delivering adult content - Strong sense of humor and ability to engage viewers with entertaining storytelling - Knowledge of YouTube trends and audience preferences for adult content - Ability to script and deliver content in a concise and engaging manner

i need a email list including lead magnet, landing page and thank you page

logo should relate to jokes and is producing shirts with inside jokes and others. would like for logo to be colorful(clown-like)

I need a car magnet designed for my car. CMYK COLOR I need it to be 300 DPI and .125" bleed. will need in PNG, PDF and other file types.. Design in a way that looks organized, and easy for people to see and scan as this will be going on a car. Use either QR code whichever looks better. if it looks good try matching the logo color scheme in the SUN (faded red, green, yellow ) make it 24 X 18 INCHES Include big words saying "Weed Delivery" Business info: Phone number (808) 272 - (ill give rest of phone number later) Website: MUST include QR code

...pages, allowing for a concise and impactful read. Audience: People in Sydney Australia who are thinking about building, renovating their dream home or the ones that are going through the tender process to select a builder. Theme: The main message or theme of the ebook is to highlight the significance of the tender process and what should the owners be aware of. The ebook is being used as a lead magnet and promoted via a landing page that we have already created. The ebook will then drive the audience to us so we can quote their works. Skills and Experience: - Excellent writing skills with a strong ability to engage and captivate readers - Experience in writing informative content related to home renovation or construction - Knowledge of the construction industry and und...

I'm looking for someone to write a three minute comedy roast for my mother's 65th birthday bash. The roast should have a mix of both light-hearted and playful jokes, as well as some sarcastic and witty elements. I have some anecdotes and events that I would like to be included in the roast, and I would like it to have traditional roast comedy style or stand up.. I'm sure you could come up with plenty of creative and amusing material to make this a birthday bash she will never forget. I'm open for suggestions and would really appreciate your help with this project.

My project is to build a website for a photo magnet store. I am looking for an experienced developer who has the skills and capabilities to create an e-commerce store with a shopping cart. My preference is to not have any specific design, as I am open to new suggestions and ideas to make the website appealing and user friendly. Additionally, I would like advice on other features that may be necessary such as a blog, live chat, or SEO optimization. Ultimately, my goal is to have an effective, reliable website that meets the needs of customers and encourages sales for my business.

- I want to create several hundred videos for my Facebook page (pamphlets and jokes), of maximum 3 minutes each, using artificial intelligence and special scripts for such things. - I am interested in some people in their public videos chosen by me / whom I want, to speak (in Romanian) in those videos differently than in those videos, using my texts, but the voice of those people, miming and moving their lips, the eyes, the face, as if the words in the content of my texts were actually speaking. - Who wants a long-term collaboration, who has great experience in such projects, and has the necessary scripts, to make me an offer in private for packages of 5 videos, maximum 3 minutes each. - I will pay packages of 5 videos each, every week or 2 weeks, for at least one year.

...and the like. I've also MC'd countless other events. This year they would like to do it in a "Late Night" tv show format. The problem? I'm not a comedian or a writer, but they would like a monologue. Yikes! I am looking for help writing a monologue, or at least jokes for a (5-8 minute) monologue, for an business excellence awards show in my community. The show is themed in the style of a "Late Night" tv program. I am in need of help writing jokes about current major (like really big) world events, current local events, and just jokes in general. I am also looking for ideas or complete pieces for a "thank you notes" style segment, in the style of Jimmy Fallon's 'thank you notes' bit. I live in Prince Ge...

SIZE: 8.5 inches high x14 inches wide (landscape) PURPOSE: To be used as a placemat in restaurants. RESTAURANT NAME: Farmers restaurant RESTAURANT TAG LINE: Thank you for coming today! We are happy to share news about Acres of Fun! INTENT for this placemat: When families come in to the res...get excited with the images and things to do on the placemat. Advertising should be subtle!! ELEMENTS OF THE PLACEMENT SHOULD INCLUDE: Acres of Fun Logo, name, address, website (BUT not too large!) Images of go carts, putt put, arcade games. lazer tag, skating, bounce house, etc Games for kids to play: A few ‘tic tac toe’ areas (see example below) Jokes see website for images and video about the family fun center

Necesito crear un funnel de ventas, este consistirá de una página VSL, un lead magnet (calculadora financiera, que recibe 8 datos y hace 3 operaciones matemáticas sencillas que mande el resultado de diagnóstico por email con cuatro opciones) y una página para reservar un lugar en un webinar. Toda la información deberá guardarse en una base de datos en SQL Azure, CosmoDB o MariaDB, montada en Azure y puede ser escrita en PHP, Python, .NET, Node o Ruby. Favor de cotizar horas de esfuerzo y adjuntar cronograma propuesto.

...pieces of information simultaneously. **Displaying Temperature (Sensor A):** - Use Sensor A to measure temperature. - Display real-time temperature. - If temperature ≤ 25°C, display it in green. - If temperature > 25°C, display it in red. **Displaying Door Status (Sensor B):** - Use Sensor B to simulate door status. - If a piece of metal/magnet is in contact with Sensor B, display the "Door Closed" logo on one half of the screen. - If the piece of metal/magnet is not in contact with Sensor B, display the "Door Open" logo on that half of the screen. **User Interface:** - Split the screen into two sections, one for temperature and the other for door status. - Updates for temperature and door status should be in real-time. - i attached a...

I am looking for a talented designer to create fridge magnet images for my electrical business. Specific elements to include in the design: - Electrical installation of type of work - Company logo and contact information Preferred color scheme: - Company colors Design variations: - I would like three or more design variations Ideal skills and experience: - Graphic design experience - Proficiency in creating eye-catching designs - Knowledge of electrical tools and equipment - Ability to incorporate company logo and contact information seamlessly

I am looking for a skilled g...designer to create a custom bumper magnet for my project. Size: - The bumper magnet should be 11.5 x 3 inches in size. Design or Message: - I would like a custom design or message on the bumper magnet. Finish: - The type of finish doesn't matter to me, so you can choose either glossy or matte. Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in graphic design software - Experience in creating bumper magnet designs - Creativity and attention to detail If you have the skills and experience necessary to create a visually appealing and high-quality bumper magnet, please submit your proposal. Thank you! This task would require you to design the magnet as well as mail me a completed product with the design. Attached is the ...

My project is to design a website for a sales coaching service. The website must have 1-5 pages, with a neutral and minimalist color scheme. The primary function of the website will be to provide a sales coaching service to its users. Details about the service should be provided in an informative way which will be easy ...service should be provided in an informative way which will be easy to understand for potential users. I'm looking for an experienced web designer who can create a website that meets these requirements. Please get in touch if you're interested and have the relevant skillset. Attached is my logo and color and I have been using Carrd to create my current website. I want people to login and have a lead magnet to grab, can get time on my calendar, and subscr...

...Inappropriate Behavior Skills and Experience: - Experience in reporting accounts on freelancer platforms - Familiarity with the terms and conditions of freelancer websites - Ability to analyze evidence and screenshots to support the claim Project Details: - I am looking for someone to help me report a freelancer account that has exhibited inappropriate behavior. - The freelancer in question made jokes at my expense instead of completing a small project I had requested them to repair. - I have evidence and screenshots to support my claim. - The ideal candidate for this project should have experience in reporting accounts on freelancer platforms and be familiar with the terms and conditions of such websites. - They should also possess the ability to analyze the provided evidence ...

Hi there! I'm looking for someone to help me with 3D modeling for a product I have in mind. Specifically, I need product modeling - creating a 3D model of a product. Product is a simple sphere hollowed out. Jumping spider hide, needs to fit 12mm magnet on top. I don't have a specific design in mind, but I have a rough idea of what I need. I don't require textures and colors applied to the model. If you have experience with 3D modeling of products, I would love to hear from you! Please get in touch with me so we can discuss my project in further detail.

I’m looking for a freelancer to help me create a stand-up routine about my experiences of being a male gold medalist in HVWT Black Belt Fighting and having 5 Irish Catholic siblings. The tone I’m looking for is family lighthearted comedy so if any jokes or anecdotes included, they should have a positive and uplifting spin. Additionally, although I do have some ideas for the routine, I’m open to any suggestions from the freelancer. Lastly, the desired length is 10-20 minutes. If you think you can create something unique and funny that will make my audience laugh, please feel free to contact me. I a Professor, a LT Colonel, a Georga Coffee County Sherrif, a 36 time Fighting Champion, 7th Degree Black Belt in Isshinryu Karate, a brother of 4 Irish Catholics, a pub...

...and the bit cuts all the bristles. when i use a normal bit or a smaller bit there is no issues as the bit is so much smaller. so i just need a very basic model that the skirting itself would be wider to accommodate for that bit. it can be in any shape. Dimensions: - the spindle itself (router diameter): 80 mm. - intake for the vacuum 64mm. - the skirting plate that can be put with simple small magnet must be at least roughly 165mm (that is for the skirting or bristles) I just need an STL file so I can create gcode and do it on the CNC. I would 3D print it but it takes for ever usually and its not quite as strong in my opinion. (but if you prove me wrong i might listen to you :-) Again I need something simple as i do not like things when its too complicated. I do not even car...

Project Title: Ecommerce ad images Description: I am looking for a skilled graphic designer to create a series of ad images for my ecommerce store. The images will be used to promote on social media ads and act as lead magnet to showcase my digital products. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Graphic design expertise - Experience in creating visually appealing ad images - Proficiency in Adobe Photoshop or other graphic design software - Ability to bring my clear vision to life through the ad images - Creativity and an eye for detail - Strong communication skills to understand and incorporate my specific design ideas - Ability to creates ads to attract higher conversion for ecommerce Project Requirements: - Create 4-7 ad images that effectively showcase my digital products - Incor...

I am looking for content creator who can make contents for an Instagram Account . Looking for some one who can make contents Like Programming meme, Trolls, or Corporate jokes

...streamline my marketing efforts. - Campaign Reporting: I would like to track and analyze the performance of my email campaigns. For this project, new content will need to be created for the email automation. I plan to send emails through automation on a weekly basis. 4 newsletter emails (automate one email per week) Cleaning inactive emails Creation of thank you email for subscription to a lead magnet and if possible application of email strategy for sales follow-up Creation of 2 lists, one to capture leads in English and others for clients in Spanish (I need this information so that the person in charge of my website can add it to the website) Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proficiency in ActiveCampaign and its various features - Experienc...

I am looking for a creative writer to create some story-based jokes for me. There is no specific theme or topic - I'm just looking for some funny stories that will make people laugh. I need more than 30 jokes in total. If you think you can come up with some humorous stories that could make people chortle, then I'd love to hear from you.

T-shirt and Magnet Designs I am looking for a Graphic Designer who can create 4-7 designs for T-shirts and magnets. Theme or Concept: - I have a specific theme or concept in mind for the designs. Skills and Experience: - Proficient in Graphic Design - Strong creative skills and ability to bring concepts to life - Experience in designing for merchandise (T-shirts, magnets) - Knowledge of typography and illustration design - Ability to create eye-catching and visually appealing designs - Attention to detail and ability to follow design briefs and guidelines.

...responsible for providing exceptional customer service to our clients through engaging and entertaining conversations with their subscribers. Responsibilities: - Handle the chatting on the clients account - Craft customized chatting experience based on each subscriber - Consistently seek to start as many conversations as possible Requirements: - 18+ Years old - Strong written english (ability to make jokes if necessary) - Good internet connection - Available for 12hrs or 4hrs shifts 5+ days a week - Motivation to learn & perform Salary: Salary starts at $3/hr with the possibility to be promoted several times all the way to Chatting manager or Chatting trainer which can get up to $15/hr Screenshots of your chatting is a big plus. This is a serious job opening for motiv...

attached an example of several slides for the style/quality we need to go for, so check them so you have a background about the vibe and quality we are aiming at, Also i have left the images with different colors for the product from the brand I want to have on slides Its santa cruz grinders Thing...style/quality we need to go for, so check them so you have a background about the vibe and quality we are aiming at, Also i have left the images with different colors for the product from the brand I want to have on slides Its santa cruz grinders Things i want you to use on slides to show more quality points of the product: 1- Aluminiu anodizat de calitate medicală, curățat cu ultrasunete 2- Magnet de cea mai înaltă calitate în capac 3- Design inovator al dinților T...

Are you a creative wizard with the power to turn ordinary footage into attention-grabbing visual masterpieces? If you have a knack for making videos that stick in peop...videos within deadlines and maintaining exceptional attention to detail. Qualifications: Editing Expertise: Proficiency in using video editing software (e.g., Adobe Premiere Pro, Final Cut Pro) with a demonstrated ability to push the boundaries of what's possible. Creative Ingenuity: A proven track record of thinking outside the box and producing content that leaves a lasting impression. Attention Magnet: A keen eye for visual details and a sense of timing that knows how to hold the viewer's gaze. Adaptability: Thrive in a fast-paced environment, adapting to evolving project needs and staying nimble in r...

Looking for a car magnet for a school that will say, "Caution! Student of the Month Onboard: Proud Parent of an Outstanding Student from Yeshivat Or Hachaim with the attached logo:

I'm looking to bring my idea ...overwhelmed by the visual elements of the journal. Ultimately, this project will provide adults living with ADHD with an easy-to-use platform to keep track of life changes, tasks, and progress while fostering an environment for improved productivity and better mental health. Direct humour in random text bubbles scattered throughout the journal is a must. This can be done through motivational quotes and jokes with instructions on how to fill out parts of the journal or something similar. Attached is the cover prototype which should show you the colour theme I am going for. This needs to be done on the specific template also attached. Needs to be publishable as a book so export in PDF or doc format. Max 120 pages. Please make this funny, graphic,...

I'm looking to bring my idea ...overwhelmed by the visual elements of the journal. Ultimately, this project will provide adults living with ADHD with an easy-to-use platform to keep track of life changes, tasks, and progress while fostering an environment for improved productivity and better mental health. Direct humour in random text bubbles scattered throughout the journal is a must. This can be done through motivational quotes and jokes with instructions on how to fill out parts of the journal or something similar. Attached is the cover prototype which should show you the colour theme I am going for. This needs to be done on the specific template also attached. Needs to be publishable as a book so export in PDF or doc format. Max 120 pages. Please make this funny, graphic,...

I am looking for a freelancer to write a light-hearted and funny roast for teachers day. The intended audience for this roast is students. I do not have specific teachers or incidents that I want to be included, so general roasting is fine. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Strong comedic writing skills - Knowledge of t...for this roast is students. I do not have specific teachers or incidents that I want to be included, so general roasting is fine. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Strong comedic writing skills - Knowledge of the education system and teacher-student dynamics - Ability to create witty and humorous content - Attention to detail and ability to incorporate relevant and relatable jokes - Excellent communication and collaborat...

Electric and magnet,neodyum,Kwh

...needs to be different. The magnet will need to be designed in a 20" wide x 7" high format, maximum. I have attached existing company logo, as well as the current business card design and old magnet. I have also attached a pictures of the color of the vehicle, so that an appropriate color palette may be used. This will be used on a car, so I require that any text on this design be clear and easy to read with no effort. No super light grey on white background, or dark purple on black, etc.. I will consider any and all well designed ideas, and am not stuck looking for one thing in particular. If your design uses a particular cut of the magnet that is not the full rectangular area, please use a dashed line to display where the magnet would be cut. I w...

...Specific Requirements: - Comedy scripts for TV or film: The ideal candidate should have experience in crafting engaging and humorous scripts suitable for Youtube -Creativity and wit: The writer should possess a strong sense of humor, able to generate original and entertaining content that resonates with the audience - Attention to detail: The scripts should be well-structured, with well-timed jokes and comedic elements that flow seamlessly - Professionalism and collaboration: The candidate should be open to revisions and work closely with the production team to ensure the scripts align with the overall vision of the project If you are a skilled comedy writer with a knack for creating hilarious and engaging scripts for TV or film, please submit your portfolio and relevant experi...

I'm looking for an illustrative book cover using a dad jokes theme. I'm open to design suggestions in terms of colors, fonts, and images or elements to be included. I want a cover that will be eye-catching and memorable for potential buyers. The dad jokes could be portrayed through clever illustrations, typography or a combination of both. If there is any additional information you need, please don't hesitate to ask. It needs to reflect fun and laughter. I look forward to seeing the fantastic designs you come up with! The book title is : Dad Jokes: So Bad, These Cheesy Jokes Might Be Good! Subtitle: 700+ terrible jokes for family fun plus some golden oldies to groan at