Funny jokes good morningcông việc

I am on the hunt for five top-notch, native English-speaking customer support agents. The successful candidates must possess expert-level experience in customer support. Shift flexibility is a must as I require coverage across morning, afternoon and evening shifts. Extensive customer support experience is essential, and having a proven ability to handle complex queries in a professional manner will definitely make you stand out. SKILLS AND EXPERIENCE: - Expert proficiency in English - Exceptional communication and problem-solving skills - Ability to work various shifts - Proven experience in high-level customer support. I encourage all qualified applicants to place a bid. Let's make customer satisfaction our top priority!

...read through the project outline. Thank you. Project details: basic functions: (the main function is to show what time the user has to work on their goals, and generate a schedule for them to use, factoring in all their tasks in their daily lives) - asks for users input on 'how disciplined are you, what are your goals, tasks needed to complete the goal, what time do you want to get up in the morning, what are your unavoidable duties, how many hours of sleep do you need' - generates an easily understandable and aesthetically pleasing weekly schedule based on the above inputs (for e.g. if customer sleeps for x hours and wakes up at y am, the day should end at z pm, and the unavoidable duties are taken into consideration) - the program should generate the schedule up...

Good morning, for my client i need to make an implementation on WooCommerce - on the store the client selects a product and then the website sends a query to the website - provide the number of products on the network. The system will then return a list of places with available quantities of a given product. The system API is in JSON format. An authorization token is required to execute the query.

...operations of the system. Pay : 1. INR1200/day or fixed amount as decided by our project managers, for 8 hours of work on anydesk/github for adding functions 2. INR 2000/project for rebranding+testing+fixing 2 Apps systems of codecanyon like professional apps. 3. INR3000/project for rebranding+testing+fixing 3 Apps system of codecanyon like food and grocery. 4. We work from 6PM till 4AM in the morning in IST, so devs can join us after their regular working hours. We are seeking professional, only individual devs (no teams, no groups, no companies, as we are already a company), who can speak and understand English and Hindi. All devs who join our team will get recurring projects from us depending on time available with them. Timely delivery for projects is very important...

i need to find wordpress plugin and make integration to my website with below detail. reservation system 1. hourly base reservation as we always work at night, today as ours is starting from 5pm until 4am next morning 2. duration (how many hours) and number of people per reservation when request reservation 3. able to post only limited rooms to online (we will make availability with only 3 salas out of 7 salas on online) 4. back end, admin has no limit to post reservation even out of open hours 5. Admin (Backend) able to move reservation hour or reduced / extend duration 6. clients can't change reservation after confirmed or can't cancel 7. reservation status showing either by color or text (sala unassigned/arrived/left) 8. able to work with stripe (payment method : c...

I'm in need of a skilled caricature artist to create 12 unique, funny, and exaggerated caricatures. These will be used across various digital platforms, so the final outcome needs to be in color. Key Project Requirements: - 12 Faces: You'll be turning 12 individuals into caricatures. Each one should be distinctly different yet maintain the theme of being funny and exaggerated. - Style and Theme: The caricatures should be in a funny and exaggerated style. This means you should have a keen eye for exaggeration and a great sense of humor to infuse into your work. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Caricature Artistry: You should have a solid portfolio of caricature work, ideally with experience in creating funny and exaggerated characters. - Digital Art: ...

Address about 1050 emails per month. These are time sensitive emails send to people who are going to lose their homes due to foreclosure. You would get the list on a Friday morning. And need to have them to me by Monday. I would gladly pay you extra for fast service. . This would a monthly long term gig. Paula Thanks, Paula

I am looking for someone to change logo and add score on the following template: Just want someone to complete same in 5-6 hours as morning we have an event.

Looking for a good designer and illustrator who can design me nice pictures for my highlight cover. And who can create me 12 posts. something like the attachment but just the vape and a description of the flavor ok the side, obviously aligned to the vape and everything These are the flavors: 13000 Puffs Raya D1 Elfbar: Masam Bubblegum Cola Mango Lychee Bubblegum Ribena Lychee Solero Apple Orange bubblegum Peach lychee blackcurrant Kiwi guava grape Lychee Juicy Peach Strawberry guava Mango Strawberry Ice cream Mixed Berry so i need 12 of those pictures

More details: What is the purpose of the illustration? Memories Book for a birthday What theme should the book cover illustration follow? Illustrations from (old) family photos or moments What specific moments or photos would you like to include in the illustration? Family vacations, Childhood memories, Funny traits

I am urgently in need of a skilled graphic designer who can create a logo and some social media graphics. Here's what I am looking for: Key Tasks: * Design a logo to establish my brand identity * Design attractive social media graphics to promote brand and drive engagement Ideal Skills/Experience: * Proficiency in modern graphic design tools (like Adobe Suite) * Previous experience in logo design and social media graphics * Understanding of branding and marketing promotional strategies in design Please note the project needs to be completed as soon as possible, and an ability to work quickly without compromising on quality is essential.

I'm in urgent need of an adept Android developer for the prompt creation of an e-commerce application. Essential Features: - Product listings and details: Display a wide range of products with accurate, detailed descriptions. - Shopping cart and checkout: Functional, user-friendly interface to facilitate purchases. - Customer reviews and ratings: Platform for customers to rate and review products, enhancing the shopping experience. 1. At least 2 years of experience in Android application development 2. Proficient in Java or Kotlin programming languages and Android development tools and frameworks 3. Have a certain understanding of mobile application design and user experience 4. If you have published applications for s-/--a--/--l---/-e, I am interested and look forward to furt...

I'm looking for a creative and experienced screenwriter to help me with my draft a satirical TV show script. Key Requirements: - The script should focus on satirical comedy - The primary setting for the screenplay is modern day - The target audience for this ...target audience for this project is 30-40 young parents Ideal Skills and Experience: - Prior experience in writing satirical comedy is a plus - Experience in writing for TV, online or audio content - Ability to tailor comedy for a specific target audience - Understanding of modern day culture and trends - Excellent creative writing skills Your deliverable would be a well-crafted, engaging and funny script that resonates with the target audience. If you have a knack for satire and a passion for comedy, I'd lo...

I need to find a good supplier that can get me all of the buyers and planers from all customers in Asia, Africa, Europe, North America, Central America, South America, Australia. i am in the aircraft industry.

...operations of the system. Pay : 1. INR1200/day or fixed amount as decided by our project managers, for 8 hours of work on anydesk/github for adding functions 2. INR 2000/project for rebranding+testing+fixing 2 Apps systems of codecanyon like professional apps. 3. INR3000/project for rebranding+testing+fixing 3 Apps system of codecanyon like food and grocery. 4. We work from 6PM till 4AM in the morning in IST, so devs can join us after their regular working hours. We are seeking professional, only individual devs (no teams, no groups, no companies, as we are already a company), who can speak and understand English and Hindi. All devs who join our team will get recurring projects from us depending on time available with them. Timely delivery for projects is very important...

I'm in immediate need of a capture images of my product. Key Responsibilities: - Visit several pet stores in Chicago (I will specify) and take a clear photo of where the product is on the shelf. Smartphone photos are fine. - Complete the task today or tomorrow morning

Good Morning..., I would like to take the logo words Big Bear (no apostrophe 's) Big Pre-Rolls and for packaging purpose have JUST THE WORDS Big Bear Big Pre-Rolls and a Bear Paw and..., I would also like to use the Bear Logo that you did for me with the Bear opening his shirt to the words Big Bear (no apostrophe 's) Big Pre-Rolls on his shirt and the brand word's are seen perfectly on the shirt as the bear is opening up his jacket. 9:53 AM Would you like to discuss?

...knowledge of e-commerce and how shopping ads look 5. Proficient English 6. Understanding and usage of social media analytics would be an advantage. Tasks: Your task will be to take over our social platforms. We require the following post schedule:
 1. Facebook and Instagram: 1-2 posts per day. 2-3 stories per day. Late morning and early evening tend to work best. 2. TikTok: 1-3 posts per day. Mid-morning and late afternoon are ideal 3. Twitter: 3-5 tweets per day. Morning, noon, and early evening. 4. LinkedIn: 1-2 posts per week. On weekdays before evening * All times in USA EST or PST, whichever is easier for you. (EST preferred). The key content to share are following: 1. Deals from our website. (Any deals you may find interesting, or currently trending produc...

I'm in search of a professional who can assist me in identifying and seizing opportunities that could help boost my income. While, I didn't specify any particular industry or skills, I'd like someone with a good understanding of finance, business and online marketing. Your application should detail your experience and what you've achieved in these areas, and how you can help me.

I'm looking for designer to create a cheeky, funny and cool Zebra mascot in a cartoon style. This mascot will be used for personal purposes, decorating a Land Rover (with a zebra-design) for a fun rally and to print stickers as giveaways. The mascot is also used on the team website. Key Requirements: - Create a Zebra mascot (a roughly square head-and-shoulders portrait). The design should be cartoonish and exude a sense of humor and coolness. - The mascot could be designed with a baseball cap. - The background should be white and the cartoon should be outlined with a black line. - To print large and small sized stickers (maximum size about 12 x 12 inch or 30 x 30 cm). To print the stickers I need a suitable image file : in addition to a jpg (at least 300 dpi) also a PSD. ...

Hey everyone, i search someone who can do a task for my existing Wordpress Website. Actually i scrap every morning the data from soccer results from a website with WINHTTRACK and upload this to my website. Now i need automation. - Data Scraping from other website to my website - Data Refresh every Day 7 o'clock - 1:1 Copy with Design and my login - Only 3 Site ! I provide wordpress test access. On This access u can build a scraping automation. I can migrate myself. THANKS :)

I'm in need of a skilled graphic designer who can help me with character animation in a 3D setting. We're looking to create an engaging animation incorporating a character. The level of detail we're aiming for is medium, including textures. Key Responsibilities: - Create a character animation in 3D - Incorporate medium-level details with textures into the design Ideal Skills: - Proficient in 3D character animation - Skilled in applying medium-level detail with textures - Experience with graphic design, specifically in character animation - Ability to bring creative ideas to the animation process

Good morning I would like to have a simple download counter for my website. This feature should work with mysql php JQuery, add a simple IP control to not increment the counter on each click, then show the download count. A simple "variable php" feedback on the number of downloads will be enough for me, I will take care of displaying it on the site. In the "assets/javascript" directory you have a file in s file there is a function "$("#download").click(function (e)" Config Server : PHP 7 .. 8

Need to add a cat in several pictures of a person. Need someone who is not only skilled in making it same flawless but also someone creative who can make it funny.

Tasks: We have three different algorithms for matching a resume with jobs on the website. They are coded in python. You have to create the APIs for webapplication. Then you...results (either job or resume depending on user). Home Page - Login SignUp buttons only...no design or banner or random stuff. Profile Page - Form Filling page with resume details. Resume Form Page Job Description Page Simple Dashboard (employer only) page with My Jobs Results Page for job seeker and for employer. Deliverable is the Website. I will provide the algorithms coded in python on 18th morning. You must integrate everything and a fully functional web application by 19th evening. DO NOT WASTE YOUR BID IF YOU CANNOT DELIVER. THIS IS A DEMO WEBSITE FOR A PROJECT but you HAVE TO BE ABLE TO HOST A...

First task is below 1) 1200 Youtube video link of recipes will be provided in google spreadsheet. for e.g each link with be 2) the person need to paste the link at 3) Cut and paste 3 windows record and 1 recipe image screenshot (from youtube) and then upload in a software ( a paid version will be provided) 4) expect to finish 1200 recipes in 60-100 hours. Please quote following if you want to try this project 1) how much for updating 1200 recipes as whole project? 2) How much is per hr rate?

Seeking a talented designer with a firm grasp on creating engaging non-fiction book designs. The ideal candidate should have: - Proficiency in designing informative illustrations. - A strong understanding of minimalist design principles. - I want it designed in Microsoft word The project involves developing illustrations that will enhance the clarity and overall appeal of the book. Experience with illustrating scenarios and ideas in a minimalist, informative manner is crucial for this role. Personal style, creativity, and originality are highly valued for this project. Your ability to work on a tight schedule will greatly influence success. Let's create something great together!

I'm looking for an innovative and creative content creator to help generate videos for my YouTube channel. The content will primarily focus on funny animal-related themes for children, teens and adults - Content type: The creator should be capable of making vlogs, tutorials, and comedy sketches focusing on humorous scenarios or facts around animals. - Main Channel Theme: The theme of the channel is Funny Animals. Any content developed should align with this central theme and be suitable for children. - Target Audience: The content should be engaging, fun, edutaining (educational + entertaining), and suitable for children. Ideal skills and experience: - Experience in content creation, specifically for YouTube. - Demonstrable knowledge in creating kid-friendly conten...

...to build a web application for my travel agency. The purpose of the application is to implement a backoffice system for managing bookings. The functionalities I'm aiming are: - User needs to enter details like Agency name, pax name, mobile number, pick up location, pick up time, date of flight travel, flight departure time, drop off location - Every day 3 buses are departing to airport. Say morning 8am, 1pm and 8pm. We need to get auto emails based on this bus timings of scheduled pax list and they take manually report with date/time filter. Ideal Skills: - Strong background in web application development - Experience in booking system or related is a huge plus - Fluency in database management, preferably SQL - Proficiency in PHP or a similar back-end programming lang...

...salesperson or sales representative: 1. **Communication Skills**: A good sales professional possesses excellent verbal and written communication skills. They can effectively convey clear and persuasive messages and respond adeptly to customer needs and inquiries. 2. **Persuasiveness**: Successful salespeople can convincingly articulate the benefits of their offering and address objections with confidence. 3. **Customer Orientation**: Effective sales professionals have a strong understanding of customer needs and expectations. They aim to build long-term, trusting relationships rather than focusing solely on immediate sales. 4. **Empathy**: The ability to understand and empathize with the customer's perspective is crucial. A good salesperson can relate to individua...

As I said, I will give a list of stores from germany which you should call and convince them to pay us for a professional website, would be good if you could convince the owner to pay before the web-development as i dont have any budget so if you have concerns we can negotiate. (ONLY SOMEONE WHO IS AT LEAST FLUENT IN GERMAN)

Looking for an Anime Recap Editor who can add funny elements, name of characters and simple editing. Here is an example: Usually around 30 minutes to 1 hour length

I'm seeking a talented and experienced video creator who can create a unique and personal video for my wedding. It'll be a gift to my husband to be to watch on our wedding morning - a video full of our memories over the years. All of the footage has been taken on an iphone so it'll have to be similar dimensions - probably social media/ Instagram dimensions. The specifics: - You should have experience in creating personal and event focused videos, preferably weddings - The video should be a heartwarming and engaging representation of the event - Given the personal nature of the project, communication and alignment on vision is key Expected Skills: - Video editing - Experience with making wedding/ personal montage videos - Strong communication skills. Looking forwar...

I'm seeking a talented graphic designer to create a captivating, cartoon-style design for my travel business' branding initiative. The final product should re...created in full color to create a visually appealing image. The ideal freelancer for this project should have: • Proven experience in creating captivating cartoon-style graphics, • A strong sense of color theory to ensure the end product is as visually appealing as possible, • An understanding of branding and how to create images that enhance brand recognition. This project is more than creating a funny image; it's about encapsulating the brand's spirit in a single graphic. If you have the required skills and can deliver a design that echoes our passion for travel, sisterhood, and adventu...

...video must be: - at max 2 minutes in duration - suitable for mobile consumption - edited using the latest techniques to suit TikTok and Instagram Reels Key elements of the video: - We want to inspire young adults, food enthusiasts, and social media users with our origin story - The tone should be Inspirational, making viewers feel connected and motivated by our journey with some quirky egg-puns(jokes) Ideal skills for this project include: - Proficiency in video editing - Experience creating content for social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram - Understanding of storytelling and how to engage with a target audience - Knowledge of music and sound editing If you're passionate about storytelling, have a knack for engaging videos, and can bring out the inspiratio...

...throughout shooting session - take behind the scenes photos and videos steadily - taking care of model's items and props other small tasks - keeping an eye on the location and ensuring no disturbances Ideal skills and experience (not mandatory but just as a bonus): - A bit of photography/assisting knowledge in photoshoots - Reliable and punctual - Good communication skills - Comfortable working outdoors The photoshoot will take place in the morning, at a waterfall area outside Penang. I will drive both of us to the location so we will meet up first in Penang area. Do let ke know if you have any other questions/inquiries....

1. At least 2 years of experience in Android application development 2. Proficient in Java or Kotlin programming languages and Android development tools and frameworks 3. Have a certain understanding of mobile application design and user experience 4. If you have published applications for s-/--a--/--l---/-e, I am interested and look forward to further communication with you

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...wearing white cowboy boots with high heels and the caption "high heels on my ippy" to frame - Illustration 2: A morphed image with the face of the cartoon nanalan and my girlfriend to place on a mug with the caption "who's a wonderful mink" - Illustration 3: A illustration of dajungleskog and my girlfriend, dog and cat - all like a happy family. These are some of her favourite things and inside jokes. 2. Artistic Style: All these illustrations should be designed in a cartoonish style, embodying a playful and joyful vibe. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proficiency in creating digital cartoon-style illustrations - Demonstrable skillset in creating human, animal, and cartoon-themed designs - Capacity to capture intricate details and transform them i...

Looking for an Anime Recap Editor who can add funny elements, name of characters and simple editing. Here is an example: Usually around 30 minutes to 1 hour length

I'm seeking a designer to create a minimalist and clean landing page for lead capturing. in The primary goal of this page is to gather leads through a signup form. Ke...appealing, minimalist and clean design - A functional signup form that enables smooth lead capturing and is connected to email capture in Ideal Skills and Experience: - Experience in landing page design in strong - Experience in creating and implementing signup forms - A good understanding of user experience (UX) design to ensure a seamless lead capturing process - Strong communication skills to understand and incorporate my vision for the landing page. I have attached my morning ritual which is my leadmagent. Color theme will change to Purple colors as in the manifesting picture attached

I'm on the hunt for an expert copywriter with a knack for raunchy, vulgar yet humorous language. Your task will be to create hard-hitting and engaging content for a new meme coin project, "Trumps Army". - Fluent in crypto degen lingo is a must. We want authentic, engaging content that resonates...limiting your creative expression - you have the entire creative freedom. Surprise me with how well you can adopt this tone of voice. - The primary platform is Twitter, but the content should also be adaptable for other social platforms. Ideal Skills: - Previous experience in crypto copywriting - Understanding of meme coin, crypto degen lingo - Demonstrated ability to write raunchy, vulgar yet funny content. Let's shake things up in the crypto universe. Looking forw...

I'm searching for a talented Trump impersonator to infuse energy into our project for a Memecoin called Trump's Army. - Voice Characteristics: The ideal freelancer can skillfully mimic Trump's accent, offering an authentic ...skillfully mimic Trump's accent, offering an authentic sound for our content. - Application Requirements: To ensure you're the right candidate for the job, please include relevant past work in your application. This will allow us to better understand your capabilities and experience in Trump voice mimicry. - Tone: We're looking for a fun and engaging tone - something that leans into humor. We want a "funny and raunchy, vulgar version of Trump". Remember, engaging and humor-filled impersonations are key to this proj...

I am looking for a ***FULL TIME*** writer who is also willing to do administrative tasks. We are a text content agency that was founded in 2022, and we are mainly working with German clients at the moment. Our team loves languages and that's why we write. I need someone with a very high level of English. Actually, we are looking for a team player who is reliable, organized and works ...Spanish) - Collection of data ***Requirements:*** - Native or C2 level of English -Perfect writing skills in your language -Creativity -Willing to learn new tasks It’s a plus if you: -know about SEO, Social Media Management and copywriting -speak German on any level Benefits: -Long-term job -Flexible work schedule -Structured work: 80 % of your tasks of the week are going to be prepared on Mo...

...Development, Database Optimization, and API Integration. Additionally, experience in UI/UX and performance optimization will be highly advantageous. This role requires a detailed-oriented individual who can enhance existing systems and integrate new features, effectively improving both performance and user experience. Key Points to be Noted: 1-Must be dedicated, 2-Local Indian Standard Time, morning working hours, 3---8 Hours per day, Monday to Sat, 4--- Must pass a technical interview, a senior level, 5-The hired person must sign a copyright agreement with a copy of the adhaar card, 6-Must use a time tracker that has a web cam capture every 10 minutes, to make sure that the same person that passed the interview is working (not a different person)...

Find a coder who can build a website to log in with a Facebook account

I would like to receive the 4 floorplans given in better quality and also a floor plan for every apartment (14 apartments). Meisurements are given and the german descriptions as well (WE stands for Wohneinheit which means apartment unit) - Descriptions should stay in german! So in total I would need 14 + 4 floorplans (Grundrisse) PDF format is needed and 1 PDF with all the floorplans and also 14 pdfs. with only one apartment

I need an expert writer to craft a 5-minute best man speech for an upcoming wedding. The speech should be comedic in tone while incorporating stories about my longstanding friendship with the groom. Skills & Experience Required: -Prior experience in speech writing, preferably comedic. -Ability to capture unique personal experiences in an entertaining way. Deliverable...Skills & Experience Required: -Prior experience in speech writing, preferably comedic. -Ability to capture unique personal experiences in an entertaining way. Deliverables: -A completed, write-up of the best man speech that fits within a 5 minutes speech slot. The ultimate goal of this project is to create an enjoyable, memorable moment for all wedding attendees, especially the groom through a funny an...