Most Honourable and Esteemed Sir,
Thank you most kindly for your generous offer of $30 for 15000 words. May Shiva shower blessings on your head! I can supply your every need from my humble abode in a mangrove swamp on the outskirts of Bombay. Doubt not that in my possession have I many wondrous and dread qualifications, including a most beautifully-illustrated parchment from Bangalore University Night School, whose seal bears two tigers rampant over crossed torpedoes. I shall be most pleased to include the certificate for the same price and to receive payment for my modest endeavours in rupees or wampum.
Your most obedient servant and scrivener