Write some Software

Hi, I need a small software to help me create some sounds for a toy. The program should allow me to record short 1-10sec sounds from the computer microphone, and then translate them into computer generated "beeps", losing any resemblance to the original voice. for example i say this into the mike: "Hello, my name is max" and the program will generate an audio file with "Beep, blurp bip beeep bip" electronic sound, with similar tonality/frequency with the original input, to MIMIC the original sound, WITHOUT replaying any recognizable word or voice. This is not a voice changer. To understand better, Imagine a bird that tries to imitate the way you speak, without much success. The program should work on windows and should have a very basic interface/window, with some adjustable values so i can adjust the output somehow if needed: 1) pitch and/or pitch variation (make generated sounds closer to a set pitch, or more variable) 2) resemblance to the original sounds. (how much information to lose from the original sound) 3) playback speed (faster or slower playbak rate of the output file) The program should save and play the generated file immediately after you stop recording. These are all the specifications, i am flexible to how this can be achieved, and i don't need any other specific settings or fancy looks, other than the ones i described above. Write the word Blurp in your reply so i can see you have actually read all my specifications, I will ignore bids from people not writing "blurp" in their reply, thank you for understanding :) About the interface, I only need to achieve the output sound somehow, its ok if i need to enter numeric values for the 3 settings above, if you can't do sliders and such. Output file can be anything you like (wav, mp3, etc) Use any programming language you like, as long as it generates .exe. Thank you very much!