Write comedy punchlines for 40 news headlines

Greetings! I am Kemar Daley, a talented premium freelancer in the writing sector. After reading your job description, I realized that it is the perfect fit for my skill set, moreover I have been writing, editing and proofreading for over ten (10) years now which makes me more than competent enough to deliver high quality work as I am a talented native who is willing to start working immediately. I am fully knowledgeable of US, UK, Canadian and Australian English, so you can expect a job well done. While I am certain there will be others who underbid me on this project, I can assure you several things. • I work extremely fast • I have a great writing, proofreading and critical thinking skill. • I am a Native American English speaker. This means I can ensure quality communication in regards to your project. A few questions that I have for you about the project: How soon are you looking to start? Can we discuss more via chat? Is there a possibility for long term work? For past work, please see my portfolio. Additional samples are also available upon request. I look forward to the opportunity to work with you. Cheers! Kemar Daley Professional - Writer/Proofreader/Editor Hire with confidence!

Words, We need them to get our message across. When you want to use words effectively to create well-written articles you need a writing expert who has the experience in crafting SEO and non-SEO content. I have provided high-quality results for websites, blogs, and articles for individuals, professionals, and business around the globe. With effective content, you can attract new businesses, retain existing clients, and improve brand awareness. Offering excellent results with a fast turnaround, it is obvious I’m the person to help you when you need articles. All content is plagiarism-free and will pass Copyscape with 100% originality. James Walpole

Hi there, I am a professional writer. Please check my reviews and previous work to have an idea about the quality of my service. I am interested in your project. Please send me a message so that we can discuss more. Looking forward to hearing from you soon! Regards, Revival

I try to ensure that my passion for writing comes through in what I write and I am dedicated to being the best writer I can be. I'm always looking to expand my horizons by learning new writing styles and genres and taking on new challenges. If I don't know how to do it, I'll learn!

one demo is ok

I have already written some technical articles and I can provide you samples. you can check my feedback for my previous projects.

"Dear Sir or Madam, Your business thrives on content. In whatever subject or market, quality content engages customers and elevates your brand awareness and identity. With years of experience across all market sectors, I produce engaging, effective content that will help you reach your goals. Accurate, grammatically correct writing is essential for any content, but it is the ability to engage your audience, deliver your message in an original, memorable way and do all that while meeting the deadlines you set that makes my writing the perfect solution for your needs. Regards Robert M. Brown "

POLITICAL OUTRAGE OR ROAD RAGE? What an ingenious way to make a political statement! That’s called driving home a point! Little had Julien Schuessler known that he would get the perfect alibi while making a strong political statement. Well, it could be put that way, since it was an accident; however, Julien himself posted the video and must have taken immense pleasure while doing so. He inadvertently drove his Jeep off the road in Wilmington, DE, which incidentally is on the FBI’s list of the most violent cities in the US. Schuessler drove into and over a political campaign sign of Republican Donald Trump. So while it may be deemed an accident, a lot of political flavor has been infused into the incident/accident. This 20-year-old Democratic supporter of Bernie Sanders had a field day, literally, and while he now enjoys his newfound popularity, his video enjoys a viewership of more than 900,000. Whilst this video was going the rounds, the Wilmington Police came in for a rude awakening, and had to tweet they're taking an investigative stand. While the Wilmington PD maintains that Schuessler has been indicted for reckless driving and ‘hit and run’, his video has become a ‘runaway hit’.

GOOD DAY! We fully understand that you’re in need of a dependable freelancer who can write professional, SEO-friendly, and 100% unique funny punchlines. Wordchain is a reliable team of experienced writers and editors that are committed with the following specifications: - We offer a reasonable rate. - We complete all tasks on time. We never tolerate any delay. - We are driven in delivering Quality. We have a team of language specialists and editors that ensure error-free content. - We have a fully responsive team of customer care advocates. - We scan all texts through CopyScape before submission to guarantee 100% uniqueness. The Service that we offer further includes the following: 1. A project manager who fully monitors your projects’ progress. 2. A team of writers that’s trained for your specific project. 3. A separate team of editors that reviews the quality of each output to suit fully your standards. We’re excited to share our samples and start working on this project. We’d be glad to further discuss the details of this project with you. Thank you! :)

A proposal has not yet been provided

Are you looking for a Content Writing Service to complete your writing projects? I have been providing content and article writing services since high school. I create original and good quality content that will help you in your online marketing efforts to attract and engage customers regularly. Well researched article Copy writing Ghostwritten. All rights will be transferred to you. Fast turnaround 100% original content Excellent grammar + flowing ideas I will help you establish a strong online presence and increase readership of your publication with my affordable yet high-quality article writing service.

Greetings, speed, accuracy and timely delivery are my operating philosophy. With consistent good reviews as you can see in my profile, I can handle your job successfully. I can start right now and conclude your job as required. Let me send you proofs of jobs done successfully. I have written for various blogs, individuals, websites and companies. Lets assist you. Thanks

Hello, My name is Janine Zaruski and I'm a screenwriter. My favourite genre is comedy and everything I write has its dose of humor. I've written comedy sketches, a dramedy and a romantic comedy short. Let me know if you would like to see my material. Best, Janine

Hi there! Are you having trouble in writing your essays? Perhaps you do not have the time or they are proving quite a challenge? Well you stopped by the right place. I offer professional writing services that are tailored to meet what you like in your essays. I write essays that cover the following disciplines: proofreading and editing Humanities Social science Information technology Engineering I write on the following: Coursework Term papers Thesis papers PhD papers I am fully proficient in Chicago/Turabian, APA, Harvard, MLA, APSA, ASA, Oxford, IEEE and AGLC referencing styles I ensure that I walk with you all through the paper to give you excellent services. So, you do not have to worry anymore. Try me out and I will help you out at a fair price. Looking forward to hearing from you,

I have been a comedy/fiction writer for over 35 years. I ABSOLUTELY love PUNS and comedy writing.I have a very quick wit and entertained the idea of being a stand-up comic when I was growing up. MY mother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up? I told her I wanted to be a stand-up comic, she said, " SON, take a chair with you in case you get unemployed!" I hope this shows my ability.

A proposal has not yet been provided

I'm a funny guy

Up to you

I love writing this type of content and have done so in the past. One example might be: "Kim Jong-un loves firing missiles but not everyone thinks he's 'the bomb.'" This would lead into a story regarding North Korea's test firing of military equipment and those who are opposed to it, such as at the United Nations today.

We just completed a similar joke writing job on another site and the results were fantastic: Jokes 5.00 "Funnyguys did an excellent job with this project. It was finished ahead of schedule and within budget. I would highly recommend them." 'Funnyguys' are a comedy writing team of lifelong friends who would love to help. We can work from G to R-rated with all stops in between. Thanks for the opportunity to make you laugh and your consideration.