62399 Need help with mod_rewrite

I am writing a PHP application for a client and it needs to be SEO'd. However I cannot disclose any details of the project here on SL so what I need is for you to sit with me for 2 hours on an instant messenger and answer my questions regarding mod_rewrite. I'll have a list of questions prepared for you, i'll email them to you, answer them and then clarify any other doubts I may have, thats it. Please bid for the above.